self love
Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts
Fuck that "Beach Body" narrative
If one more person says they "need to get their beach body" ready I'm gunna snap.
This narrative of needing to fix our bodies to be "summer ready" is so destructive to our mental health and creates unnecessary anxiety in a lot of individuals. I have seen so many friends opt out of fun summer activities because they didn't want to be in a swimsuit, heard countless individuals talk about their extreme (and unhealthy) approaches to slimming down for summer. Extreme exercise, starvation, laxatives etc, all so they will look a certain way in shorts/bikini. That makes me sad, and angry and I want every single one of these individuals to feel beautiful because they are beautiful and perfect as they are!!
I am not exempt from this, years and years of being bombarded with these messages will make you take them to heart. Especially when I was younger, and less confident, I remember feeling panicked as the days got warmer, my body wasn't ready for public consumption! And that's what it is, having it ready for other people instead of being happy with it for you. As an adult lady I love going to the beach and pool and seeing all the different bodies, of all shapes and sizes, and all of them amazing and capable. We all have our own insecurities but that shouldn't stop us from going and enjoying our summer wardrobes and summer activities.
1. First and foremost, your body is a beach body if your body is at the beach
2. I don't need to work on a "summer body" I need to get my hiking bod ready, get my lungs conditioned to going uphill at a steep incline for hours. I need to get my outdoor soccer, bike riding and stair climbing legs ready.
3. My worth (and yours) is so much more than how I (and you) look in a goddamn swimsuit!!
4. Which for the record is amazing...our perceived imperfections and all. Just like all my other badass bitches out there rocking every shape, size and colour.
So take that body to the beach and enjoy your beach body my loves <3
5 tips to practicing Body Positivity
I think self love is super
important and talked multiple times about ways to become more body positive,
but I’m finding a bit of frustration within that. A particular problem I find is individuals preaching self love and body positivity but also preaching size-based
goals and who promote daily ab checks, before/after photos, half naked body
check ins, etc. This is a way in which we police our own bodies, checking every
single day to see if one part we have deemed problematic is getting better or
becoming worthier. I’m not saying there is anything inherently wrong with
wanting abs, but if it becomes to the point where you are policing your body every
day to see if it’s “better” while at the same time talking about self love, are
you practicing what you preach?
Some tips to help you practice
self love & body positivity
1. Be authentic:
If you’re struggling, talk about
it. We all struggle, no one feels 100% happy with themselves 100% of the time,
that doesn’t make you less of a body positive advocate. It makes you human.
2. Stop policing your body:
Progress pictures can
totally be helpful, especially when starting a new training protocol, but if
that’s the only way you’re measuring success, that might not leave you in a
very happy mind set. Try not to weigh yourself everyday, if you don’t take an
ab check selfie every morning it won’t stop your progress.
3. Make your goals for you:
My goals and success
are for me and me alone, the internet does not need to hear about it all the
time. Certain milestones? Sure! A particularly gruelling workout where I thought
I was gunna die but didn’t and it’s a miracle? Yasss, support that shit. But if
your goals are in place to make others happy (especially when that’s the internet)
that’s no good. Or if you feel your success is based on how many people comment/like a post, that's a horrible way to measure yourself.
4. Find like minded people:
I don’t follow any fitness
accounts that are all selfies, before and after pictures or gratuitous body shots.
Why? It’s not helpful for my mental health, it makes me feel bad. I am a strong,
fit, amazing person and scrolling through that makes me feel terrible, I don’t need
it. I follow individuals who are jazzed about working out, who come up with fun
workouts, who inspire me, especially people who offer scientifically sound advice
on injury prevention/rehab.
5. Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a friend:
I
would never tell a friend their love handles were looking flabby, why would I
say that shit to myself?
Love Letter to My Body
I am
writing this as any ode to my body, my
mind and most specifically my heart. Seven years ago I had my aorta replaced,
it was a process of 14 months of things going wrong to get to that point. Most
people take their birthday as a time to reflect, for me it’s my aortaversary (obviously
my own coined term) it’s a very happy day for me, I take this time to check in
and appreciate my body.
It's so crazy how light my scar is now, they really did a good job
Seven years
for me is a really big milestone, it’s a time frame I set out in my mind when my
recovery was really hard, that in 7 years I would be so far away from the pain
I was currently in. And I was right. 2 years post-OP I was still very
emotionally vulnerable and battling with the whole experience. After a few more
I could finally see it as a good experience, a huge influence as it always will
be. Now 7 years later I am grateful for the whole mess of a thing. I learned so
much about resilience, I never knew how tough I was until this happened, and
although it was incredibly difficult emotionally I found ways to get past it
and keep my light.
So here is
my love letter to my body who no matter what let’s me move, seven years ago I
couldn’t walk to the end of the block without being winded. I kick box 2x a
week, lift weights 2x a week, run 2x, and play soccer. Dear body you are f
ucking magnificent, I promise to take care of you always. I promise to allow
you rest when you need it more, to listen to you and push you.
Today I’m
looking at re setting where I’m at based on this, my health has always been
important to me, my body since then has been my priority. I’ve talked about it a
lot this year but I need to re focus on my self care, taking downtime, and my
mental health. It’s funny that I can get so caught up in the physical health
and forget about self care, my heart needs to be worked but it also needs
downtime to recover and not be working overtime always. So happy aortaversary
heart, I took the day off so I could do any little thin my heart desired and
tomorrow we’re going to escape to the mountains!
30 days of self care
One of my clients informed me a little while ago that she was undertaking a project, a brilliant project based on self care. She was planning on doing something every single day for a whole month to improve her self care. This ranged from seeing friends, to getting outdoors, napping when you felt like you needed, pushing yourself to work out more.
I couldn't help but be inspired and think "why don't I do that" but hell lets take it one step further, why don't we all do that? I think every single person I know could benefit of doing at least one thing a day for their own self care and well being. The best part? You can make it fit your schedule, there just has to be something every damn day. I think this is such a great undertaking and will lead to more calm, less anxiety and more self love, which we could all use.
Step 1: Grab a notebook! Don't all good journeys start here? You are going to track your self care item everyday to make sure you're on track
Step 2: Grab a lifeline, enlist a friend/lover/coworker you can count on to check in with or do the challenge together.
Step 3: Decide what self care means for you, for myself I tend to not socialize as much as I would like to because I have a very people heavy job, so scheduling time to see my ladies will be an item of self care. Since I'm up hella early most days of the week ensuring I'm sleeping enough is self care. Meal prep? That's self care! See, it's easy to find things to do that will make you feel better and more relaxed. Turning my phone off and going for a walk this afternoon with the pupper? Totally self care.
Step 4: Get on the sochmeds (social media, for those unfamiliar) and #selfcarechallenge2018 if you are so inclined to share your progress via instagram!
Some ideas!!
Self Care & Burn out
Burn out is:
physical and emotional exhaustion
cynicism and detachment
feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment
physical and emotional exhaustion
cynicism and detachment
feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment
Signs of this can include: Chronic fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, loss of appetite, physical symptoms such as heart palpitations,headaches, dizziness, stomach pain, increased illness etc.
Maybe you only recognize a few of these symptoms, or maybe you've just been in a really stressful state, but self care and taking time for this is incredibly important. It's easier said than done though, so just like a workout sometimes you need to schedule it.
Some good ways to get in self care:
1. Get a massage/physio/acupuncture
2. Do something you really love but never make time for. This can be as simple as catching up on a show, doing a fun activity etc.
3. Meditate, adding in 5-10 minutes a day can be incredibly beneficial.
4. Take a long hot shower/bubble bath
5. Talk to a psychologist, we all thing "we can do this alone" but every single person gets overwhelmed from time to time, and having someone who is an expert to talk to can be so beneficial.
6. Make space in your life for things outside of work/commitments. I get it, we're all super busy but making time to have to yourself is incredibly important and rewarding.
7. Cuddle a puppy dog, it has actually been scientifically proven that petting a dog can bring down your stress levels. And those who own a dog generally lead a happier life.
7. Cuddle a puppy dog, it has actually been scientifically proven that petting a dog can bring down your stress levels. And those who own a dog generally lead a happier life.
Practicing Self Love
Self Love. Somehow a really difficult subject and practice in our society these days. We are told when we're kids we're amazing and perfect but somehow over time the messages we receive and our beliefs about our selves seems to shift.
Working as a personal trainer I see this day in and out with my clients and it really breaks my heart. Having a 60+ grandmother talking about how much she hates her body and wishes she was skinnier is so jarring and eye opening.
I too fall victim to this sometimes, I work in a gym, I see bodies of every shape and size. Sometimes I wish my body looked more like some of those other bodies, and it makes me feel bad.I force myself to change my internal dialogue on the regular, when I find myself going negative "I hate __, I look fat" I try to pick out a few things I like. Take these photos for example, first thoughts were of the things I don't like, and that made me mad. I am a strong, fit and healthy woman whose body is amazing.
Focus on the positive. Try every single day for a month to write down something you like about yourself first thing in the day. Keep it somewhere you can see it.
Set a movement based goal. Running faster, adding more weights to your movement, getting a stronger core etc.
Fuck the scale. Seriously. Fuck the scale, focus on how you feel. If you feel sluggish, bloated and crappy those are legit concerns, maybe then change your diet and exercise routine. I have never been happier since I stopped weighing my self.
Get off the grid. Take a break from social media, go outside, surround yourself with like minded people. Go for a hike, a bike ride, a dog walk. Trees don't give a shit if you're a size 2, a 12 or if you have a visible six pack.
Build your brand around things of substance. If your entire value in yourself is based on your looks, guess what? You are always going to feel like shit. No one is perfect and putting all your energy and self worth into how you look is never going to end well. Focus on hobbies, take a course, make something, figure out what makes you you! My focus is being fit and healthy, that doesn't mean I am ultra lean and have a 6 pack.
Fitness Identity
I run but I'm not a runner. I fight but I'm not a fighter. I lift weights, but I'm not a weight lifter. I practice yoga but I'm not a yogi. I am not defined by the way in which I move my body. I am defined by the fact that I chose to move my body, the fact that my fitness is a journey and not a destination. We often find ourselves pigeon holed into these identities and unable to move past them when an injury occurs or if we just stop enjoying them.
For many I know that having a goal, an end point is a hugely motivating factor. There is nothing at all wrong with this. For myself, and others out there, having an end game is not the point. People are always asking me what I'm training for, my answers are often non specific and noncomittal, because really I'm training for my life. I want to be able to move better, faster, stronger and be able to do this pain free forever. Now I know I won't always be pain free, but I know I will always find a way to move.
That is my challenge to anyone thinking about getting "fit" or wanting to get in shape, or be more active. Try things. Try a whole bunch of different movements. Running? Sure. Olympic weightlifting? Why not. Kickboxing class? Do it. Barre classes? Get it. By trying all these different things you may find one (or many) ways of moving you really really like. And then being healthy and active won't feel like so much of a chore. Cross training is a really beautiful thing too, and so beneficial for your body. So if you are for example a runner, try lifting some weights, you'll be amazed how much better your runs feel. Try not to let yourself be pigeon holed by your so called fitness identity and just move.
Body Acceptance & Positivity
This is something I have struggled (struggle) with on and off for my whole damn life. I think it's something all women struggle with. I think it's bullshit that we grow up feeling bad about our bodies and all the ways in which they seem imperfect. I myself, am a perfectionist but long ago realized that perfectionism in relation to my physical appearance is actually the worst thing for my mental health and happiness. I still have bad days, who doesn't! But the fact is, I try my hardest to channel that inner voice that says I'm not enough of a or b and focus on all the amazing things my body can do. My body can run! My body can lift! My body can get me around easily!
1. Stop comparing yourself to others (or even past versions of yourself). I'm so bad for comparing myself to myself, maybe it's pre injury or my running time, but it still isn't helpful.
2. Unfollow accounts on social media that make you feel bad. Those individuals posting pictures of their 6 packs every 5 minute don't really bring any value to the conversation for myself personally and therefore I don't want to see it. If someone is posting instructional video, interesting exercises, bodies in motion, cool! But people who just gratuitously post pictures of themselves flexing are not what I want to see.
3. Try to be aware of the language you use in regards to how you talk about your body. You wouldn't tell your friend she had a huge ass, or gross muffin top, why the hell would you say that to yourself?
4. Buddy system. Find a friend, a lover, a partner in crime to talk to about this stuff, someone who can (gently) suggest when you're perhaps being a bit too hard on yourself. Darcy has been a great help when I'm being negative and don't even realize, it helps me reset my external and internal dialogue.
5. Focus on internal goals, not external ones. In the gym, in life etc, make your goals things like "I want to lift xlbs on this exercise, or increase my reps, increase my mobility" instead of dropping weight.
Bring it on 2017
I find myself quite nostalgic at the end of the year, thinking back over the past year and looking to the year ahead. I truly believe one does not need to wait until the new year to make a change, but it is a good marker if you are thinking of making some changes. I've come up with some goals I plan to on pursuing over the next few months, year and probably well past that.
1. Practicing more self-love and positive body talk.
This is something I talk so much about with my personal training clients, and if I expect them to accept their bodies, shouldn't I as well? I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and although in some cases this helps me there are other circumstances where it hinders me. Everyone has a body part or parts they're not fond of, but that does not diminish our self worth. Therefore I am going to try my best to reframe those negative "not enough" thoughts into focusing on positives. I really think this is important for us women, we need to focus on how amazing and capable we are!
2. Nourishing my body better.
I eat pretty well most of the time, but there are times when I'm rushed between clients and I a) don't eat b) eat something "easy" but not necessarily healthy. Easy can be healthy, but you need to be prepared. When I don't nourish myself properly, I'm cranky, and end up being super bloated. Neither of which are a happy situation. So lots of fresh veg, simple snacks, smoothies and lean protein in my future.
3. Take more "downtime"
Another thing I'm bad at is rest days and downtime, I'm always go-go-go but your body needs time to recover. This is true whether you're working long hours or working out a lot, both cause breakdown on your body which needs rest to recover. Taking time off, actually take rest days between workouts and making sure you get enough sleep is crucial and a top priority for me in 2017.
4. Getting outdoors.
I'm actually pretty good at this one with the little pup and all, but to be more specific I want to run outside during the colder months. I usually wimp out when it gets to be below -15 but I really think it would do my body and mind such good to get a break and enjoy the fresh air for a run 1-2x a week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)